I CAN MOONWALK!
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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