I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
