u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
