i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Randomize
