The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
