The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
