I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
