At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He passed out mid-signature
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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