Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
