I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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