I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
