So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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