420 ftw
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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