i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
