Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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