Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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