Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
