another moral hangover. fuck.
I am spending my child support on dildos
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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