Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
