YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
