I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Can Purell be used as lube?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize