So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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