He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize