There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
