At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
