You did not just play the dead husband card again.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
