The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
