I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Randomize
