pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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