Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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