i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
