hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
i now understand why vodka
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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