ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
