Taylor Swift is so right about you.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize