scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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