Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Found the puke drawer
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
