All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize