Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
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