so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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