We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
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