Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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