I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm bleeding and have questions
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
