you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
