fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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