That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
