Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
