we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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