It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
