I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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