You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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