He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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