Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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