yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
