can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
