Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
