Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
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