Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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