I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
