a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
