I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
