Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
