Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize