I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
